So here I am blogging once again. Will I stick with it this time? Who the hell knows. I've decided to write about everything. I'm not compartmentalizing my life any more. It's time to just be me and face everything my life throws at me.
My Etsy shop is still up and running. I've had only a handful of sales but I'm rolling with the punches here. So I'm sure there will be dozens of ramblings about the various adventures I have in vintageland.
I finished my Associate's Degree in November and can now find a big girl job as a medical assistant. However, this job market is awful and I've had a handful of fruitless interviews. I'm even applying for receptionist jobs, anything to get me into the medical field. It's not my absolute dream job but it's a job that I can enjoy and will pay the bills. I worked really hard to get my degree in almost half the time and really hope that it's not in vain.
The biggest challenge for me this year was my decision to join Weight Watchers. For too many years I've struggled with my weight. I've always been the chubby girl, the girl who learned to laugh before others could, the girl who has an emotional relationship with food. For the past four years especially I have not been honest with myself and sank into a food depression that has left me exhausted and fed up. I'm tired of waiting for this magical day when I'll instantly be happy and healthy with my body. I'm sick of not looking in the mirror. I've made a thousand excuses and now I'm doing the right thing. I want to feel beautiful again. I've wasted enough time being a prisoner to my weight.
Sounds awesome right? Well, it's not easy. Last week was my first full week. Some days I was really excited. I was making healthy choices and loving every minute. I tried kale, chick peas, fish, and egg whites. I was determined to be more active. Then there were the hours I felt hungry while my body adjusted to this new change. There were moments when I cried my eyes out because it was so hard and the road seemed so long. The days where I wanted a snack so badly I thought I was going crazy. Like I said, it was not easy. However, I made it through. For the first time in my life my determination won over my weaknesses. I went to my meeting today and giggled when the receptionist told me I lost 5.8 pounds. In one week I lost almost 6 pounds. It may not sound like that much but it's incredible. 6 pounds I'll never have to carry again. (Hopefully). It gives me something to think about when I want to throw in the towel and never eat a salad again. It gives me the courage to never look back.
I want to look at my life and be happy. I never want to look back and regret.
That's what's been on my mind lately.
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