Don't we all feel that way a bit? I think every person at one point of time feels like they have broken wings. Some days it seems like these wings will never fly again. Trying to put my struggles into perspective leads me to believe that "broken" is a very strong word.
Today was strange. It wasn't a nightmare but it wasn't a happy day either. I really was struggling with not eating whatever I could forage from the kitchen. There were some big stresses today and I just didn't want to deal with them. I can't really explain what I was dealing with here. A lot of it wasn't my own stress but trying to be there for someone who is also struggling with change. It's not easy to be strong for others when you feel like you can't even be that for yourself. When you play around with a mood like that for long enough, it's inevitable you get to a pretty self-pitying place.
"I'm broken." That's what we want to think. We want to believe that we'll never change, we are these cracked shells that can never be whole. I felt like a failure. I want to be wonder woman and fix everything. I want to protect my loved ones, be super strong and make awesome decisions. I definitely wasn't wonder woman today and I just wanted to cry. When I feel like a failure I just want to eat. And eat. And eat.
However, I managed to (sort of) pull it together.
I work in the medical field. I see a range of people who deal with a plethora of issues. I've seen people who are truly broken and will never have the life I have. I've seen people who have serious conditions and manage to be the most pleasant patients you will ever meet. It's so easy to be consumed by our own problems that we forget that there are worse things in the world.
I know you are probably rolling your eyes at the slightly cheesy sentiment but sometimes the cheesiest of messages are nothing but true. It's late on a Tuesday to be philosophical but humor me this once will you?
I'm really nervous to go to WW tomorrow but part of life is facing fears. If I can face my fear than maybe someone else can do the same. One of the best things we can do is lead by good example. Some times it's the only thing we can do. I once read that success was built on failure, frustration and catastrophe. If that is true than I am in for really mind blowing success.
Keep flying.
*Note*
Shout out to my sister for encouraging text messages.
To the person who is also having a hard time dealing. We'll make it through, I promise.
