For the past year and a half John and I have toyed with the idea of adopting a child. For a while it never seemed like the right time or one of us wasn't quite ready to accept that particular challenge. After all, we are quite young. Despite all that, this idea never truly left my mind.
There are a thousand reasons to have or not have children. I know my Mom would say we are so young and have plenty of time. I'm sure others would not understand my reasons for adoption. John wasn't sure in the beginning if he wanted to explore that route. We've had many (emotional) conversations about this. We've always known kids were in our future. The difficult thing is deciding when the future becomes the present. The idea that our child is out there, waiting for his/her parents to find them tugs at my heartstrings.
Now, there are a lot of things we need to figure out. Finances, my job, where in our teeny house this child will fit! I don't want to wait on these things. Yes, I have a long journey to go with my weight loss. Yes, we have bills and a tiny house. Yes, I just turned 26. Yes, I am completely terrified of giving up my "alone" time with my husband. But these things do not change how I feel.
John and I have been back and forth on this. I think I secretly made a pact with God (even though He and I don't always see eye to eye), I said "Please give me a sign!"
I don't know if He's given me a sign. I know that John said to me on Mother's Day that we should start the process, even if it's just getting more information. For the first time ever, he started searching the wilds of Google for adoption information. Let's just say I was a little nervous to get excited about this.
Today we requested information from two agencies that are affiliated with SWAN (Statewide Adoption and Permanency Network). All I can do now is take a leap of faith. The optimistic, fairy tale believer inside of me says that things will work out in their own time. I anticipate there will be many obstacles and people will not understand. However, if I want this with all my heart then there is nothing that can stop me.
5.15.2013
5.10.2013
Mother Love
This weekend is Mother's Day! I am not a mother yet but I can tell you about the many mothers in my life. It's difficult to describe the many amazing women who have shaped my life into one tiny blog post. However, I have decided to tell you about three of them.
The first is my darling mother-in-law. I am so blessed to have a mother-in-law who is loving, warm and very much my friend. From day one she has welcomed me into her home and family. Whether it was setting an extra dinner plate on the table or remembering to keep a stock of diet soda in the house, Mom has always been so sweet. She introduced me to so many things, like flea markets, antiques and all things cool/vintage. What's more we have a lot in common and tend to like the same styles/things. She got to know me as a person, not just because I was dating her son. She has loved me like a daughter and we have a blast hanging out together. She is always there when we need her, no matter what time of the day or night. I have lost so many people in my life and Mom, along with my father-in-law, healed my heart in many ways. Because of them I have a whole new family to love and to love me in return. John and I are incredibly lucky that our families have happily come together as one.
The second lovely lady is my grandmother. Grandma was a major force in my life. She was just always there for as long as I can remember. I was always at her house, or always tagging along wherever she went. Grandma was a complicated woman but to me she was just Grandma. She loved me and spoiled me rotten. She taught me how to bake, she instilled Irish pride into me, she let me touch the breakable things, and so much more. We would lounge on the beach, watch movies and play house. Unfortunately she passed away 28 days before my 18th birthday. When she died my heart shattered. Eight years later, I am still not over it and I miss her so much. One of the biggest strengths in my life was how much Grandma loved me. She was always so proud that I did well in school and proud of my other achievements. I've loved classic movies and music from a young age and Grandma was always delighted to share the her love of Frank Sinatra or watch Judy Garland and Bette Davis. Grandma did not have favorites but I was very close to her. I hope that, wherever she is, she knows that my life would not have been the same without her. I will love her forever.
The last, and never the least, is my Mother. (No surprise there!) Mommy and I have come a long way. Mom is funny, loving, overprotective, smart, beautiful and crazy. Mom has put me first always. I always had everything I ever wanted (except my size Barbie! LOL). She taught me how to take care of myself, taught me that I am beautiful inside and out, and that I can do whatever I set my mind to. She's showed me how to find laughter through tears. She set rules, made sure I never took a wrong path and was tough when she felt she needed to be. She and I have our differences but now that I am an adult (yes I am one), I have come to realize that everything she does, she does it out of intense Mother love for me. We can laugh at the same things and fight like cats and dogs. However, I know that no matter what happens, or no matter how many times we drive each other crazy, Mom is always there. The simple fact that she loves me more than anything in this world has helped me rise to every challenge. With her I will never be alone. She will always be ready to be the Mama Bear that she is.
Thank you my mothers. Thank you for your wisdom, your laughter, your tears, your strength but above all...thank you for your love.
The first is my darling mother-in-law. I am so blessed to have a mother-in-law who is loving, warm and very much my friend. From day one she has welcomed me into her home and family. Whether it was setting an extra dinner plate on the table or remembering to keep a stock of diet soda in the house, Mom has always been so sweet. She introduced me to so many things, like flea markets, antiques and all things cool/vintage. What's more we have a lot in common and tend to like the same styles/things. She got to know me as a person, not just because I was dating her son. She has loved me like a daughter and we have a blast hanging out together. She is always there when we need her, no matter what time of the day or night. I have lost so many people in my life and Mom, along with my father-in-law, healed my heart in many ways. Because of them I have a whole new family to love and to love me in return. John and I are incredibly lucky that our families have happily come together as one.
The second lovely lady is my grandmother. Grandma was a major force in my life. She was just always there for as long as I can remember. I was always at her house, or always tagging along wherever she went. Grandma was a complicated woman but to me she was just Grandma. She loved me and spoiled me rotten. She taught me how to bake, she instilled Irish pride into me, she let me touch the breakable things, and so much more. We would lounge on the beach, watch movies and play house. Unfortunately she passed away 28 days before my 18th birthday. When she died my heart shattered. Eight years later, I am still not over it and I miss her so much. One of the biggest strengths in my life was how much Grandma loved me. She was always so proud that I did well in school and proud of my other achievements. I've loved classic movies and music from a young age and Grandma was always delighted to share the her love of Frank Sinatra or watch Judy Garland and Bette Davis. Grandma did not have favorites but I was very close to her. I hope that, wherever she is, she knows that my life would not have been the same without her. I will love her forever.
The last, and never the least, is my Mother. (No surprise there!) Mommy and I have come a long way. Mom is funny, loving, overprotective, smart, beautiful and crazy. Mom has put me first always. I always had everything I ever wanted (except my size Barbie! LOL). She taught me how to take care of myself, taught me that I am beautiful inside and out, and that I can do whatever I set my mind to. She's showed me how to find laughter through tears. She set rules, made sure I never took a wrong path and was tough when she felt she needed to be. She and I have our differences but now that I am an adult (yes I am one), I have come to realize that everything she does, she does it out of intense Mother love for me. We can laugh at the same things and fight like cats and dogs. However, I know that no matter what happens, or no matter how many times we drive each other crazy, Mom is always there. The simple fact that she loves me more than anything in this world has helped me rise to every challenge. With her I will never be alone. She will always be ready to be the Mama Bear that she is.
Thank you my mothers. Thank you for your wisdom, your laughter, your tears, your strength but above all...thank you for your love.
5.01.2013
Happy Birthday Baby
Monday was my birthday. I am officially 26!
I usually blog when I'm in a pensive/not-quite-happy mood, so as a change of pace I am going to tell you about my birthday. It was quite delightful.
The festivities started on Saturday. My parents came out and spent most of the day/evening with us. We didn't really go out any where special (besides dinner), but it was nice to hang out. Believe it or not, a good deal of our conversation was devoted to Family Guy. John and I are obsessed with it and lucky for us, so are my parents! I knew my Dad would be but I'm surprised Mom loves it. Usually that type of thing would be something she rolls her eyes over. They also brought out a couple things from home. Some toys, my baby beach chair, and some other cute things. John's parents joined the four of us for dinner and we had a great time. We went to a restaurant called the Perk, a pub-type place. Mom and Dad brought a little cake for afterwards. On a side note, I hate when people sing happy birthday to me. I feel so awkward (in a silly way)!! I never know what to do with myself, so I wind up fidgeting and staring at my hands most of the time. I've felt like that as long as I can remember.
For the actual day I had to work. The birthday gods must have taken pity on me because the phone was not relentless (as Mondays usually are) and we were busy but not insane. The whole day was bearable because my phone was constantly relaying Facebook posts and text messages filled with birthday wishes. I was also so excited for my mystery date! Johnny made reservations at a secret location and would not tell me at all! He took me to a Japanese sushi/hibachi restaurant, Ooka.
It was delicious! I'm not a fan of sushi but I adore hibachi. We had not been to a good place in a looooong while. I had teriyaki chicken, miso soup, salad with ginger dressing- YUM. I also splurged a bit and had sake sangria (also delicious). John had sushi (smoked salmon, eek!) and Ooka tempura (salmon, shrimp, veggies with tempura sauce) and soup/salad. For dessert we decided to be adventurous and chose mochi (rice cake with ice cream). We had two flavors, mint chocolate and white chocolate raspberry.
All in all it was a romantic, exciting evening. That's one of the many lovable things about my husband. He always makes our dates special, especially birthdays/anniversaries/holidays.
Of course no birthday would be complete without presents. No matter how old I get, I can't deny that I love presents. (However, note should be made that I do enjoy giving presents in addition to receiving them. But my birthday is the one day I don't have to worry about other people!) I was spoiled rotten this year! Some highlights were Rosemary's Baby and Moulin Rouge on blu-ray, a gift certificate to my hair salon and Beatles-themed pictures. One of the best was Sex and the City, the complete series! I will now be spending the next few months obsessively watching each episode along with the special features. (Thank you hubby! You will quickly regret this present!)
I originally did not have high hopes for this birthday. It's been a rough couple months and turning 26 did not seem like an exciting thing. However, I was proven wrong. I had a fantastic time. I felt so much love as all my nearest and dearest sent wonderful, beautiful (and in some cases, hilarious) messages. It felt awesome to be happy again. I was reminded that numbers are simply that, they cannot change who you are inside. I was also reminded that I was fabulous and that I am very, very much loved.
I usually blog when I'm in a pensive/not-quite-happy mood, so as a change of pace I am going to tell you about my birthday. It was quite delightful.
The festivities started on Saturday. My parents came out and spent most of the day/evening with us. We didn't really go out any where special (besides dinner), but it was nice to hang out. Believe it or not, a good deal of our conversation was devoted to Family Guy. John and I are obsessed with it and lucky for us, so are my parents! I knew my Dad would be but I'm surprised Mom loves it. Usually that type of thing would be something she rolls her eyes over. They also brought out a couple things from home. Some toys, my baby beach chair, and some other cute things. John's parents joined the four of us for dinner and we had a great time. We went to a restaurant called the Perk, a pub-type place. Mom and Dad brought a little cake for afterwards. On a side note, I hate when people sing happy birthday to me. I feel so awkward (in a silly way)!! I never know what to do with myself, so I wind up fidgeting and staring at my hands most of the time. I've felt like that as long as I can remember.
For the actual day I had to work. The birthday gods must have taken pity on me because the phone was not relentless (as Mondays usually are) and we were busy but not insane. The whole day was bearable because my phone was constantly relaying Facebook posts and text messages filled with birthday wishes. I was also so excited for my mystery date! Johnny made reservations at a secret location and would not tell me at all! He took me to a Japanese sushi/hibachi restaurant, Ooka.
It was delicious! I'm not a fan of sushi but I adore hibachi. We had not been to a good place in a looooong while. I had teriyaki chicken, miso soup, salad with ginger dressing- YUM. I also splurged a bit and had sake sangria (also delicious). John had sushi (smoked salmon, eek!) and Ooka tempura (salmon, shrimp, veggies with tempura sauce) and soup/salad. For dessert we decided to be adventurous and chose mochi (rice cake with ice cream). We had two flavors, mint chocolate and white chocolate raspberry.
All in all it was a romantic, exciting evening. That's one of the many lovable things about my husband. He always makes our dates special, especially birthdays/anniversaries/holidays.
Of course no birthday would be complete without presents. No matter how old I get, I can't deny that I love presents. (However, note should be made that I do enjoy giving presents in addition to receiving them. But my birthday is the one day I don't have to worry about other people!) I was spoiled rotten this year! Some highlights were Rosemary's Baby and Moulin Rouge on blu-ray, a gift certificate to my hair salon and Beatles-themed pictures. One of the best was Sex and the City, the complete series! I will now be spending the next few months obsessively watching each episode along with the special features. (Thank you hubby! You will quickly regret this present!)
I originally did not have high hopes for this birthday. It's been a rough couple months and turning 26 did not seem like an exciting thing. However, I was proven wrong. I had a fantastic time. I felt so much love as all my nearest and dearest sent wonderful, beautiful (and in some cases, hilarious) messages. It felt awesome to be happy again. I was reminded that numbers are simply that, they cannot change who you are inside. I was also reminded that I was fabulous and that I am very, very much loved.
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