Well today I learned that I am now down 24 pounds. Of course, if I really pushed I might have lost more but sometimes you just have to celebrate your victories no matter how small they are. As one woman at my meeting reminded me today "That's 24 pounds you never have to see again."
I really love that aspect of Weight Watchers. A group of strangers can come together every week and encourage one another. We all know the struggle of trying to lose weight. We all have different back grounds, different reasons for being there but for 45 minutes of the week we support each other. It's nice to have some solidarity with people who don't know your ins and outs.
On the other hand, talking with someone you love can do wonders too. I had a two hour conversation with my best friend and it felt so wonderful. I've known my beloved Kaity since we were nine and I can always count on her for anything. She's one of those friends who knows you so well and makes every thing in the world feel right, even if it's only for two hours. To me she is superwoman, she can make me laugh, she points out what I need to see and she's just...Kaity. I think if everyone in the world had a friend like her, the world would be in much better shape.
Lately I have felt stuck. Life has been chaotic, but when does it not? My husband's Grandmother passed away in January and now we are in the process of emptying her condo/apartment. She was an amazingly sweet woman, we miss her terribly. She lived into her 90's, an accomplishment that most cannot imagine. It's so sad to go to her apartment and have her not waiting at the door to greet us. We have her radio, her bedroom furniture and so many other beautiful items. Gram had impeccable taste, everything she owned was beautiful, girly and well-made. Even though we are grateful to have the things that she loved, it's a bittersweet feeling. I think we are all still waiting for her to answer the phone, "Oh Hi! Thanks for calling," in her delicate, breathy voice.
Things have been very emotional (obviously). Emotional is tricky for me because my emotions overrule my eating choices. I'm trying to work on that, maybe even work on myself as a person. I'm trying to find out why I always put myself last. Why do I have this need to put others first? Why is it so easy to not take care of myself or love myself like I should? How can I balance caring for other people while caring for myself? I hope I can learn this lesson before it's too late. I think while a quality like this can be admirable it can cause big problems in my life (Kaity words of wisdom). I think I'm in a rut and I'm looking for my way out. I suppose John, Kaity or whoever cannot pull me out. I need to pull myself out. (Easier said than done).
Also, my parents got a solid offer an their house. If things work out, their dreams of moving to Nevada will be happening soon. I am incredibly happy for them. I think this is the best move for them, for many reasons which I cannot go into right now. However, I really will miss them. A part of my life will be over for good once the house belongs to someone else. I'm hoping after all these endings that have been happening in my life some beginnings will be in my future.
*fingers crossed*
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